MY OLD LADY.

I almost forgot-- talking about missing home.

i miss my grandmama's. (My mom's mom and my dad mom)

i just spoke to both of them yesterday, my mom mom-- Mama Milly via AIM. yes, she's on aim cuz she's a 5th grade teacher, and she's nowhere near OLD so she be on it too. lol.

And i spoke to my father moms---Mama Tina via phone. She told me she's doing well, and wants me to go to church with her, something im not into, but that's a whole other post. But jeah, she's well and still crazy.

Mama Milly though, she just sent me a pic of her and her boo. lol , yes her "boo". And i must say, she's looking better than ever. I love her so much. See you soon mama!!! =*

Word to my grandmamas!
=Milli Millz=

TALKiN MY SHiT

Hey hey hey fam-lay. I just got back from step practice, exhausted as hell, watching "Family Matters," on Nick at Nite. Urkel got me rollinnnnn, such a throw back yo. And as im watching it, im peeping the style and how dope they dressed back then, and how we NOW copy the same scheme and turn it into our own. In my past life, i was born back in those days, dead ass. lol.

Step practice went really good. Competition is on Saturday at Williams College at 8pm and it hasn't hit my step squad as yet, but i know once we hit that stageee, man oh man are we gona feel it. Last year we placed "Peoples Choice," which was not bad at all, being that we only had 2 weeks to prepare and we were the under dogs, being from MCLA, and MCLA's 1st step squad that actually had their shit together. So, you know, we were really proud of ourselves. But this year, i feel it in my heart and soul, NEXXUS has a huge chance at placing. So much time and dedication put into our routines and feet, i know we got this. We got alot of swag on my squad, so once we hit that stage and all eyes on us, there's no looking back! i should have a video up of our performance once its over-- so look out for that =).

Oh, and i just changed the channel to the Food Network, my 2nd favorite TV station after Cartoon Network, and "Iron Chef" is on. I fucks w. Bobby Flay and Kat Kora, i'm tryna step my cooking game up like them-- Word! Tonight's secret ingrident (pardon the spelling), is KING LOBSTER and CRAB. Omgg- my mouth just watered. I miss home so much. My step pops could cook a meann curry crab with potatoes and corn... LAWDD!!!! (Jamacian accent) Spring Break will be here on March 13th, then i'll be back on campus March 23rd. What will i be doing for spring break? Beats me. I probably just chill with hommies and my little brothers and look for a job for the summer time. Sounds like a plizan! Diggy?

Talking about food though-- i haven't eaten anything today besides chicken fingers and fries, and that was at 2 o'clock. So i'm about to run upstairs and see what's popping in the kitchen. If anything at all! Oh, and Jenny left to NY once again, so im in my dorm room--- for doli.

Headn to the kitchen, jus call me Garfield.
(Ha! Bet you ain get that!!)
=Milli Millz=

LADiES iN DRESSES

So i didn't watch the Oscars.
I honestly don't even know when it aired.
I think i was busy with shit going on here on campus.
But as i was about to go check my Yahoo mail.
That little slide show popped up previewing who wore what and etc.
So i click on it and saw some dope shit.

Here they are:

From top to bottom:
1. Taraji Henson

2. Miley and Heidi

3. Marisa Tomei

These ladies TRiED iT! Dresses are rather flyy, real elegant, classical, but with a twist of brand new! But my favorite one is Miley's, & i dont even fuck w. her like that. Tru Woo. She killed it, hair coulda been a lil more proper but i guess that's the look-- Nonetheless, the dress is real proper, def something i would rock.

Looking at these ladies, makes me wana become more in touch with my "feminine side". More skirts, dresses, and shoes. But i feel like i'll be fronting cuz i'm more of the sneaker, skinnies, tank top type of gurl.

Whatever though.

Like it or Love it!

Diggy!!

Radio Show tomor-- so i gota go prepare for it.

Unoooooooooooooooooooooooo !

=Milli Millz=

WORD

Sleep early tonight; Gota catch up on my naps man.
But i just wana leave ya'll with this:


In this world;
all you have is your Word.

Tash couldn't have said it better. <3

Word.
=Milli Millz=

FiXiNG THiS BUM ASS BLOG

I'm trying to fix up my blog, as my mind is right now.
Only if i knew how to do my lay out.
I'ma fuck with it til i get it tho.

On the phone with Zoey.
& he just said : "i admire your enthusiasm."
Thats because i'm telling him about my plans for the summer 09-- or rather my life all together.

I just wana live.
Word.

=Milli Millz=

SUBLiMiNALS?

Woke up this morning, after a long ass night of DJ'n in my room-- had my hommies dancing on beds and shit. lmao. I drank alot, but for some reason, it didn't hit me how it usually does. Guess I'ma G now. Lol.
As of lately, alot of shit been going on, as mentioned before, and they really are not getting to me, after that talk with my sis a$h, she made me realize what good is it holding on to something that is not contributing anything positive in my life? And i just shook my head and said yo, you're def right. So shout outs to a$h money for that one, & check out her bloggington: http://www.kishmyash.com/.

Now, the title of this post, is... as you can see: SUBLiMiNALS.
Why people choose to do it, i have no clue. All i'm saying is if you feeling some kind of way, do something. Like the MTA slogan go: "If you see something, say something." And that's not only relevant to terrortist and shit. lol.

Feeling like Hovito right now:
"You know they lame, you feel ashamed, but you love 'em the same. It's like when nuccas make subliminal records (also know as messages!) If it ain't directed directly at MILLZ, I don't respect it. You don't really want it with MiLLi, for the record. I put a couple careers on hold, you could be next kid! Keep entering the danger zone. You gon' make that gurl Jamila put your name in a song (also known as BLOG! lmao)If you that hungry for fame, motherfucker c'mon. Say when, take ten paces and spin.
But on another note: Bout to continue doin my thing aye!"

lmao. im such a fool. But on some gee shit-- thats exactly how i feel right now. Who said music couldn't speak for you? Shit I just want people to own up to the massive bullshit that they've built up around themselves. Be a man or woman. Muhvafuqa's got too much Pride now a days, and thats gona be the death of alot of ya'll. And like Mr. Carter said, if it aint directed directly at me...im not guna Respect a person or anything else they do or are about-- as an individual. All i'm do is take note of it, like im doing right now. I know when i feel some way, im writing nuccas names in my away, status, it dont matter. Why? Cuz i dont want nobody telling me im throwin subliminals, and thats tru woo. But i keep forgetting, alot of muhvafuq's arent no where near built like me, so i guess the world is gona continue to be this way for a while.
And this is just sad. But fuck it, you live and learn, and nuccas just took my ass to school.

I may be back with some further thoughts. Since my mind is on a "Milli Millz A Million A Minute."


What you want me to do?!
Im Sorryy...
- Hov's voice.

Word to Real Shit.
=Milli Millz=

SUCCESSFUL

--"i want it all.
that's why i strive for it.
diss me & you'll never hear a reply for it.
any awards show or party I get fly for it.
i know that it's comin'.
i just hope that I'm alive for it."
-Drake.

i just wana be Successfulllllllll.
Song on repeat.

Last night was a kee kee.
Why nuccas front? thats the question of the night but yo fuck it. lol. Still feeling kinda goop'd from last night.
Patron?
Jose?
Long island ice tea?
Bacardi Limon?

Part 2 tonight?!?

Today is the boys last bball game, so im finna get dressed for that then the rest is in the hands of my gurls.

My life is movin smoove man.
I'm trying my best not to stress the things that i really have no control over til im 110% sure i even need to take time out to handle it.
Feel me?

Bbl yall


Brooklyn Born, Hispanic Blood.
Word to my muhvaland.
=Milli Millz=

STRAiGHT CODiNE

Btw.

Drake's Mixtape is something like CODiNE.

On replay all day.

Nuff said.

WORD.

REALiZATiON

Been gone for a minute now im back with the Jump- off.
i havent been posting for a while, honestly--i just got kinda bored with it and i been all over the place; Literally and Mentally.

Alot of shit has gone down for the past week that caused me not to post. Some i rather not touch bases with but alot having to do with Relationships, Friendships, anything that ends in 'ships' basically.

Yesterday, i realized for the very first time in the 19 years of my life that i really do not give a fuck about a lot of things-- that i once did. I always seem to put other peoples feelings into consideration when most of the time, those people never even think twice about how Jamila just might feel. So with that said, i've been searching for a way to keep myself happy instead of worrying about others and their issues. That's all i ever done for people that i consider my nuccas, is look out for them and in the long run, their loyalty to me disperses into the air, into the cracks of the ground in which we walk on, into nowhere. And im just about tired of putting my hand out when in need, and noone being there to grab it for me. Not that i need that, but it's nice every once and a while to have that person do so for you.

i got my gurls, that ive been thru DRAMA with since day 1, regardless of our ups and downs, they never fail me to bounce back. Then theres other friends that rather put me on the side because they think they are the only muhvafuq's goin thru whatever thay maybe goin through. New Flash: You're not. But like i said, I'm good off alot of you mofo's.

Its time to Realize we may become better people if we tried to help ourselves find happiness, rather than feeling sorry for ourselves.
Ungrateful people kill me.
And im know that this wont be the last time i encounter something like this.
All it takes is preparation.
And im good.

Hopefully ill get back to this blogging shit in full speed like i once was.
But im real focused on school and family.

If you dont understand then you just dont.
I wont ever force one to do so.


With a luke warm heart-- cuz she jus stopped giving a fuck.
=Milli Millz=

ALL SMiLES

It's been almost a week since i've been on here. Although i've explained countless times my moves and motivations--- forgive me. =)

It is 7:40 am and i am wideee awake. I got a 9 am class, but whatever thats light.
This week was alot to endure man. From budget meetings to Step practice to drama to just basic life shit we gota deal with on a day to day basis.

So far my Step Squad "Nexxus" routine for the Step Competition on Feb 28th is sick. I think we actually have a chance at placing this year man, like 4realize.

My radio show "Relevant Radio: Where Everything Matters" has been comin along smoothlyyy. Our Valentine Day special was funny as hell. Shout outs to my partner bigg booty Mo'e. Holla!

Also, Happy Birthday to my punk ass Relz, love you ugly.

Talkin about Valentines day real quick.
i have one =)
A Valentine that is.
Can't give yall all the detail but just know he's paying me a little visit here at MCLA.
This is the first time i've ever allowed anyone to come out here and see me. I'm just real funny when it comes to having company out here, i always tell people ill wait til i see them during a break or something.
Only this time-- it's different.
I kind of... Gave in. If you must.
lol.
This weekend is gona be a kee kee ya'll.
My eyes are def gettin heavy but i have to go finish cleanin the house for this "visitor".
ha!

Love yall.

Oh, btw. I may be M.i.A once again 4 the weekend. But once i get baq, ill have all the details. lmao.
Yall def deserve it mane!


With a smile & heart, a luke warm one.
=Milli Millz=

REFOCUS

Time 2 refocus my microscope on the things that arent apparent to the naked eye.Theres alot of things hidden between the cracks in which we step on & in return-- A great Listener will make a great Leader with other substances that add to their potiental.
-Me.


Just how im feeling right now.
Studying for my Biology Test 2mor.


in Millz i trust.
& nothing else.

Word.

MY WEEKEND

Aye! Wuss goodieee fam-lay?! This weekend was coooool. But 1st and 4most let me just say that I'm not goin to talk about 'The Grammys" because of cousre, im pretty sure that everyone watched it, to keep it a hunnit, i didn't even watch the whole thing because i was too busy writing a last minute paper. I did see T.i & J.T though (sexy asses) but jeah!-- moving along.Oh! and i know yall heard about Chris Breezy washing Rihanna up. LMFAO. It's been said because she gave him herpes. I'm sayin though, i woulda wyle'd her up too. Shit. But that is neither here nor there so it is what it is. People act like entertainers aren't human, forgetting that before they are ANYTHING, they are HUMANS. Smh.

I just came from a meeting with my Magazine Writing & Editing professor. She proofread my story, which like i said before i'll be writing about fashion on campus and as she read my opening statement she begins to chuckle and says, "Jamila, you need to be let out your cage! because you are just an animal when it comes to writing. You have one of the most original voices in writing i've come across. And the potiental is great." Yes, that made my day. =)

Saturday me and my gurls went to a Pre-Valentines Day gala at a near by hotel, pics coming soon. but in the meantime between time, here are some pictures from Friday night at the Kappa House. They not in order but wudeva !

*Millzy was the name that they gave me*

TO NiCE--TO HUMBLE.

So i just got back from my school's Pre Valentine's Day Gala. It was cool-- me n da girls looked real nice as usual Pics up soon. =)

Theres alot of things on my mind right now. One of em being "RELATIONSHIPS"
Just sitting here in my room: No music, no t.v. Just this blog, my thoughts and i.
Just wrote this. This is the raw verison-- just fresh out my brain cells. lol.
Before you knock it tho-- try to understand it.

Nite =)

To humble-- too nice

They say im too humble.
Im too nice.
They ask me why i care so much.
Why i bother to think twice.
I cant help who i am.
Nor how i was born to be.
but i seen sincerity in your heart.
Some thing that nobody else had seen.
I let you step all over me, because i fear losing you as a friend.
But they say im dumb and too nice, im fallin 4 it again.
Depicting this picture with no picture just a blank-- empty page.
These words are my angers, these words are my hearts rage.
Which paints on that paper

and now that its complete

-- we can hang up the frame.
Humble and nice.
Get shot, or be sliced.
Damn, why cant i do anything right?
I sit in my room and plot.
On how to get rid of this soft spot.
that i have for you.
Say im through-- but in reality-- thats just real old news.
whose who?
Whats what?
Why do i care?
Who gives a fuck?
Hoping St Patricks day is tomor, cuz im in need of some luck.
im talkin a -s- a- p.
Not tryna turn this into a sad story, but damn, why me?
All this hurt, phoniness, things i cant even comprehend.
Im just to nice and too humble.
pssh... '

this shit has definitly got to end.

MAiN EVENTT!

Aight-- so ya'll should already know. Im HELLA tight right now.


My boys Main Eventt also known as RingMasters just got voted off the show tonight.

They def did they thing and "America" aint really understand the art behind flexing but you know what?


BROOKLYNNN!


Went out with a bang.

FUQ WHAT THEY TALKIN ABOUT!


Main Eventt!

Nugget, Reggie, i love yall!

Holla yo.


Brooklynnnn, sayy WORD!

=Milli Millz=

ON THE MOVE.

Yo yo yo Fam-Lay.
I know i been m.i.a for like what? 3 days. But for some good reasons:
1. School is getting real crazy.
2. I've been hitting the gym (yes, clap for me)
3. Anddddd, i have officially begun my RADIO SHOW ! with my homegurl Mo'e. It's called "Relevant Radio," every Wednesday from 2-3pm. We basically discuss every and anything goin on on campus. Our first show, because it is Black History Month (shout out to that!) we will open each show talking about 2 leaders that shaped society today, play some uplifting music (like Sam Cooke, James Brown etc) and invite people to call in or come to the studio and just talk shit. Lol. Our motto: "Relevant Radio; Where everything Matters" Simple & Understood. Holla !
=)
Next week, which is our 2nd show. We're going to have a Valentine Day special. Have some people call in and talk about their Worst or Best Valentine's Day, if they ever had one, and have a sexy ass PlayList! So, im real hype about that.

I also been telling myself that i need to step my intellect up. Instead of sitting in front of my PC and TV all day, i hit the library the day before yesterday and picked up this book by the name of: "Why White Kids Love Hip Hop--Wankstas, wiggers, and the new reality of race in america" by Bakari Kitwana. So far, this shit is DEEP. It uncovers alot of unknown history behind hip-hop, statistics, just mad shit. I wish i could take a picture of it, but my damn camera is broken. But i got yall =)

Tomorrow, i have to begin interviewing 4 people for this fashion paper I'm doing for my Magazine Writing & Editing class. I'll go more in depth once i have my thoughts together, but for sho, it finna be d o p e =)

Now, ABDC is on and i have this bum ass Spanish Test to study for.
i love yall.
OH! and shout outs to my 16 followers yo. Thats what the fuq is REALLY good. =*

Til then, the story never ends;
=Milli Millz=

GROUNDHOG'S DAY

According to the hommie, the GroundHog, he saw his shadow--winter shall last for about 6 more weeks. Talk about wdf.

That must be a prediction for NY because out here in Mass, we still get snow in May. I remember when i woke up, it had to be like mid-April and it was dead ass flurries outside. I mean-- i love the winter, ima winter baby. But not for so long, im ready for the Spring time baybee! Get at me asappp. I'm ready to pull out the light cardigans, Low Keds, Sb'z, all that flyy shit-- with some shades on. I think we all feel the same way, right?

Question: Why they putting a mic by it's mouth like he sayin something? Smh.... The stupid shit people do yo.

Word to the forecast,

=Milli Millz=

QUOTE OF THE DAY #2:

"CHAMPiONS ARE MADE FROM SOMETHiNG.

THEY HAVE DEEP iNSIDE THEM, A DESiRE, A DREAM, A ViSiON.

THEY HAVE TO HAVE LAST-MiNUTE STAMiNA,

THEY HAVE TO BE A LiTTLE FASTER,

THEY HAVE TO HAVE THE SKiLL AND THE WiLL.

BUT THE WiLL MUST BE STRONGER THAN THE SKiLL."

-MUHAMMAD ALi.

AFTER MiDNiTE #2

So it's 3am, and im chillin with Jameeky, and Mal watching "Sober House", these muhvafucka's on this show are banoodles bee. Whatever happened to cherishng your life?

Moving on; 

 All my other friends are either sleep or not doing shit. Jenny's boyfriend, Gary, just popped up here at school and the expression on her face was retarded. He had called me around 8 saying that he wanted to come and now he's here and she's like madd happy =) Dass wussap. Times like this make me wish i had a nice boyfriend like that. Somebody that would drive 5 whole ass hours to M.A. to surprise me and make my day. Or at least someone on this campus, SOMETHING! Shit....

 But, she just locked me out my room and told me i cant come back til around 7.... A.M. So ya'll already know what that meannnnssss!! oowww!! Get it Roomie! =* But, sadly for me, i have nowhere to go, so i guess i'll be sleep on the couch tonight. Diggy?=/ 

Today my step squad (Nexxus) performed at both the Women's and Men's game. The girls went in and won against Worcester State College, while the boys, who played they asses off, lost by 5 after going into double O.T. Talk about tight. psssh =/ Shout outs to them though for doing they thing on the court. Ya tu sabe. 

oohh jeahh!! and let me not forget.. i def hit the gym today with my girls Bori, Mamma, and Jenny. =D after brunch.. awww chyeaaaaa. 

Quite proud of myself i shall say. 

I'm bored though.

Guess I'ma take my simple ass to sleep.

On the couch that is....

Sucky Saturday huh.

Word.........

Millzy*