I've been trying to break out of this 'no sleep' habit i got going on. Instead of going to bed at almost 4 each morning, im trying to get my ass in bed by the latest 2am. And so far i've been pretty successful with it. Until last night/this morning.
I'm knocked!
Drool, slob, eye curst, all that.
And there's this loud ass bang on my dorm room door. So me and my roommate Jenny roll over, look at each other to see who was going to actually get up and answer. I won-- Jenny got up.
Look at the time-- its 3 something.
So she opens, and its Tash.
"Get up son-- she needs us."
My girl Victoria is upstairs balling tears because her man for of almost 3 years tells her he does not want to be with her anymore. For whatever reason-- he cant seem to express vividly.
These guys were inseparable from the first day I met them.
But not to kill the story by telling HER story, basically he says that 'there are small things that they constantly disagree on and doesn't feel like they can be worked out."
Victoria respond to this is of course, "yes we can".
Long story short:
They had been going through their lil crisis. He told her that although they were going through their drama, he would hold up his promise of hitting her up, keeping things focused on them so that they can sooner than later get back on the right track. Apparently, he hadn't been, so Victoria went out her way to express to him that she wasn't feeling how he hasn't been keeping up with his end of the bargain. All she knows is, he starts barking odee, saying don't call him any more, a few name calling and that was that. Lets not forget, he had been "drinking." (I put the quotes around drinking because now everybody wana blame it on the goose!) Psssh. =/
I'm sitting there in my panties and tee, hair scarf and eyes still closed trying to figure out the science behind this maddness. And i begin to reflect back on my past relationships.
Victoria never really been through the drama of being with someone for so long, putting in her all and then at the end coming to find out that 1. all the time spent might have just been a waste of time and 2. she may never find a dude like this guy.
Being that this shit done happened to me before-- i already placed myself in her shoes. Myself, Tash, and a few of my housemates began to tell her that she just needs to let things flow. Its going to take a while before she actually gets over this man and regardless how long she sat there saying how much she hated him, the love was apparently something she cherished because if it had not been-- she would not be in the state she is now. A broken heart is hard to fix, love unreturned is like a question without an answer. And although he had been returning the love (for about 3 years), it seems it wasn't real enough for them to make amendments and really make things work.
And that is what Victoria wants-- to be able to get over this whole situation and change his mind.
But like i always say: Dudes will be dudes.
I'm not here to paint a bad picture of him because it's different from me being just his hommie then looking at him from my girls perspective.
I just cant-- cause i wasnt the one dating him.
But what i can do is understand where she's coming from.
All the heart ache and 'what if's' that i know, as im writing this is circulating in her mind.
I told her today at dinner that the best thing for her to do is stay focused on School-- that should be her #1 priority since her relationship is now no number.
The thing is though-- They say a drunk mind speaks a sober heart. So even though he just might say he was drunk and didn't mean it. Doesn't that work against him?
Why cant people just keep it real from the jump?
Why couldn't he just tell her why he doesn't want to continue their relationship?
And most importantly--what can she do to keep her time moving forward?
Any advice for her?
Anything ya'll can offer from previous experiences?
Leave it here.
"Relationships are just 30 minutes long...
Kind of heavy.
Maybe a lil Strong."
-Lupe.
Nothing last forever.
The best things must come to an end.
Now ask me why im single.
Shit.
Word.
=Milli Millz=
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
JUST ME BEiNG POLiTE
Just wanted to say Good Morning.
so GOOD MORNING guys.
Todays's schedule:
Radio Production 9-950 am
Concepts in Biology 11-1150am
Magazine Writing & Editing 12-1250pm
Spanish 1-150pm
Sidebar: i don't feel to good. =/
i shall return later.
-Milli.
so GOOD MORNING guys.
Todays's schedule:
Radio Production 9-950 am
Concepts in Biology 11-1150am
Magazine Writing & Editing 12-1250pm
Spanish 1-150pm
Sidebar: i don't feel to good. =/
i shall return later.
-Milli.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
SO iTS OFFiCiAL TiSSUE
The big homie is officially America's daddy.
Classes were cancelled from 11am-2pm so everyone was able to tune into the inauguration.
Due to lack of sleeep last night (went to bed at 4am)--i almost missed my 1st day of Biology Lab (9:30am)-- but thanks to the super duper bestie Tasha, she sent me a text saying:"Jam Get the fuck up!"
lmao.
Where would i be w. out her is what i ask!
Anyway; moving on.
At 11am, i get a text from my mommie sayin:"I hope you are watching your new president give his speech. You voted."
And i could't help but to cheese. Like odee CHEESEEEE. Too know that this man, who looks like me, when the press is not in his face--talk like me, and gota crazy swagg, even walks like me... has been elected to be the 44th president of the U.S.of A! Word to my moms, i am so thankful for being able to see this day.
I'm not going to give you word for word of his speech, because im pretty sure EVERYONE and they POPS were on it but i will def say that Barack Obama IS my inspiration and so is his gorgeous family.
One part of the Inauguration that had me cracking up though was the Benediction by Rev. Joseph E. Lowery.
This man said: "....help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right."
Now-- if ya'll didn't find that funny, yall wack!
That part had me on the FLOOR because he did not CARE. "When brown can stick around-- when white will embrace what is right." As funny as that shit sounds though, its 110% TRUE.
Tasha said that she's never been so proud to own an American Flag. And i totally agree.
It was all about my Puerto Rican and Panama Flag @ 1st! loll.
Naw, but on some real shit.
God Bless America.
God Bless the Obamas.
God Bless us All.
It has been made OFFICAL.
It is OFFICAL.
=Milli Millz=
Classes were cancelled from 11am-2pm so everyone was able to tune into the inauguration.
Due to lack of sleeep last night (went to bed at 4am)--i almost missed my 1st day of Biology Lab (9:30am)-- but thanks to the super duper bestie Tasha, she sent me a text saying:"Jam Get the fuck up!"
lmao.
Where would i be w. out her is what i ask!
Anyway; moving on.
At 11am, i get a text from my mommie sayin:"I hope you are watching your new president give his speech. You voted."
And i could't help but to cheese. Like odee CHEESEEEE. Too know that this man, who looks like me, when the press is not in his face--talk like me, and gota crazy swagg, even walks like me... has been elected to be the 44th president of the U.S.of A! Word to my moms, i am so thankful for being able to see this day.
I'm not going to give you word for word of his speech, because im pretty sure EVERYONE and they POPS were on it but i will def say that Barack Obama IS my inspiration and so is his gorgeous family.
One part of the Inauguration that had me cracking up though was the Benediction by Rev. Joseph E. Lowery.
This man said: "....help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right."
Now-- if ya'll didn't find that funny, yall wack!
That part had me on the FLOOR because he did not CARE. "When brown can stick around-- when white will embrace what is right." As funny as that shit sounds though, its 110% TRUE.
Tasha said that she's never been so proud to own an American Flag. And i totally agree.
It was all about my Puerto Rican and Panama Flag @ 1st! loll.
Naw, but on some real shit.
God Bless America.
God Bless the Obamas.
God Bless us All.
It has been made OFFICAL.
It is OFFICAL.
=Milli Millz=
Monday, January 19, 2009
FOR THE BiG HOMMiE OBAMA AKA O-BREEZY!
Its Midnight, officially the day of The Inauguration and i just got the odee bubble guts. Why? i have nooo clue. Just the thought of this powerful man at the podium, speaking to us all.
Yo-- shit is just crazy.
See, this is another reason why Life is Golden, as said like 10 minutes ago.
Now tell me I'm lying. =)
Welcome big hommie O-breezy.
We in here!
Easyyyyy!!
WORDD!
=Millzy 4 O breezy. ooowww!=
LiFE iS GOLDEN
...This is a statement I've been saying for a good minute now.
It basically came about one day... i was thinking about all the things i complain about, all the things i lack and all the things I'm overwhelmed with. And i came to the conclusion that even when times seem-- no-- rather when times ARE hard, we tend to lose sight of all the good that's been holding us up and together. I tend to do that alot. I'm a very happy person, dont get it twisted. Im not here to cry about how socially incorrect or whatever i am, because i can honestly say that i am a well rounded girl. But i do have my times where i be feeling like a fuckin re re.
My boy just lost his cousin downsouth last night, and he called me being to basically vent. A girl by the name of Nyasia passed away after a party in Brooklyn the other day, and i began to think about all the people that i've lost in the last 2 years.
Then when it comes to relationships (a bad break up)--school (you got a F or had to withdraw)--the big and small things that happen to us--whatever it maybe. When the bad things happen to us we just cant seem to grip around the reasons behind them. It's just always the question of 'WHY?' And i kind of feel like i know WHY.
The things that happen to us are to make us stronger. They happen so we can learn from it--cherish it and move on. They happen to everyone, just at different times. You're definitely not alone. I know how cliche that shit is, like we've heard that all our lives. But on some real shit-- its true.
Think of all the good.. Then put them up against the bad.
Maybee the bad just happens to actually weigh out the good.
but think about it-- you're still here.
Alive-- breathing--try smiling man.
Always know that we have to go through all the bad and worst before we can really feel and appreciate the good and great.
Real talk.
keep in mind yo.
that Life is Golden .
Word to da Muhvaland.
=Milli Millz=
It basically came about one day... i was thinking about all the things i complain about, all the things i lack and all the things I'm overwhelmed with. And i came to the conclusion that even when times seem-- no-- rather when times ARE hard, we tend to lose sight of all the good that's been holding us up and together. I tend to do that alot. I'm a very happy person, dont get it twisted. Im not here to cry about how socially incorrect or whatever i am, because i can honestly say that i am a well rounded girl. But i do have my times where i be feeling like a fuckin re re.
My boy just lost his cousin downsouth last night, and he called me being to basically vent. A girl by the name of Nyasia passed away after a party in Brooklyn the other day, and i began to think about all the people that i've lost in the last 2 years.
Then when it comes to relationships (a bad break up)--school (you got a F or had to withdraw)--the big and small things that happen to us--whatever it maybe. When the bad things happen to us we just cant seem to grip around the reasons behind them. It's just always the question of 'WHY?' And i kind of feel like i know WHY.
The things that happen to us are to make us stronger. They happen so we can learn from it--cherish it and move on. They happen to everyone, just at different times. You're definitely not alone. I know how cliche that shit is, like we've heard that all our lives. But on some real shit-- its true.
Think of all the good.. Then put them up against the bad.
Maybee the bad just happens to actually weigh out the good.
but think about it-- you're still here.
Alive-- breathing--try smiling man.
Always know that we have to go through all the bad and worst before we can really feel and appreciate the good and great.
Real talk.
keep in mind yo.
that Life is Golden .
Word to da Muhvaland.
=Milli Millz=
Sunday, January 18, 2009
SCHOOL vs. ME
So, i woke up this afternoon around 12:45, went to brunch w. my roommate Jenny, had mad french toast, eggs, home fries, and apple juice. I come back to my room and theres this email in my FirstClass account, (Firstclass is what students @ my school, MCLA Massachusettes College of liberal Arts, use as means of communication). Anyway-- i open the email, sent to me and some others, from this white chick and its entitled "Hip Hop/Urban Culture"
Here's the email:
Hey! What's up? I hope you all had a great winter break! I am writing to you because for my "Creating Story Theatre" class my group is doing the topic "Urban Culture". Our performance will be during the One Acts on April 28th-30th (performing on one of those days). We may need to work out a time that works for you to meet before then. All of us are not very familiar with hip hop dance and we were hoping maybe you guys could help out or recommend someone who could!
Some ways you can help:
--Teach us some hip hop dance/Step
--Perform as part of our skit (Or if you have a video from a performance we could show it on a projection screen)
--Cut a track(s) for us
--Answer some questions in an interview
I know that you all are probably wicked busy but this would be a great help! We are planning to include: hip-hop dance, music, slam poetry, body art, speed painting, graffiti art...ect. If you have any thoughts, suggestions or other ways you could help out please feel free to let me know. I hope you all have a good semester! Thanks!
BTW, this would be a great thing to put on a resume! :-D
Sincerely,
L.M.
I read it, and @ first nothing seemed wrong. But then i went back to the top to view who recieved this email, and not to my surprise it was all the African-American students on campus.
Mind you, my school is majority white and maybe about 60 blacks out of a campus of about 1,200.
A friend of mine Jamal, Replied to the email asking the recipients:
Hey,
Did everyone read the message below? LoL-- should any of us be offended? I honeslty don't know how I should feel about this... am I overreacting?
Jamal
Now, who told this girl that US black students know how to dance urban? Who told her to email all the black students on campus??? Who told her that i was BLACK?! How she assume all of us are African American??
So many levels of ignorance that i bet she didn't even catch on too. Just being mad fucking closed minded.
Sad right?
I didn't even reply back-- at least not yet.
Cuz i know for a fact, some fly shit will come off these lips.
And i got hella homework to do.
But ill be sure to show you guys my response once im done w. my homework.
All i could do is shake my head.
Am i overreacting?
.........
-Millzy.
Here's the email:
Hey! What's up? I hope you all had a great winter break! I am writing to you because for my "Creating Story Theatre" class my group is doing the topic "Urban Culture". Our performance will be during the One Acts on April 28th-30th (performing on one of those days). We may need to work out a time that works for you to meet before then. All of us are not very familiar with hip hop dance and we were hoping maybe you guys could help out or recommend someone who could!
Some ways you can help:
--Teach us some hip hop dance/Step
--Perform as part of our skit (Or if you have a video from a performance we could show it on a projection screen)
--Cut a track(s) for us
--Answer some questions in an interview
I know that you all are probably wicked busy but this would be a great help! We are planning to include: hip-hop dance, music, slam poetry, body art, speed painting, graffiti art...ect. If you have any thoughts, suggestions or other ways you could help out please feel free to let me know. I hope you all have a good semester! Thanks!
BTW, this would be a great thing to put on a resume! :-D
Sincerely,
L.M.
I read it, and @ first nothing seemed wrong. But then i went back to the top to view who recieved this email, and not to my surprise it was all the African-American students on campus.
Mind you, my school is majority white and maybe about 60 blacks out of a campus of about 1,200.
A friend of mine Jamal, Replied to the email asking the recipients:
Hey,
Did everyone read the message below? LoL-- should any of us be offended? I honeslty don't know how I should feel about this... am I overreacting?
Jamal
Now, who told this girl that US black students know how to dance urban? Who told her to email all the black students on campus??? Who told her that i was BLACK?! How she assume all of us are African American??
So many levels of ignorance that i bet she didn't even catch on too. Just being mad fucking closed minded.
Sad right?
I didn't even reply back-- at least not yet.
Cuz i know for a fact, some fly shit will come off these lips.
And i got hella homework to do.
But ill be sure to show you guys my response once im done w. my homework.
All i could do is shake my head.
Am i overreacting?
.........
-Millzy.
iNTRODUCTiON: SUBJECT TO CHANGE
Ah hem!
- Allow me to introduce to myself.
Name is Jamila; mostly known as J-Millz;Millie;Millzy;Jay-Pay-$0;High Yellow; or as seen in the title-Milli Millz. I'n not into this whole INTRODUCTORY paragraph thing-- it brings me back to High school w. all the topic sentences & shit like that.
I've been waiting a while to begin this bloq of mine, but since im not that great at makin the banners and all that flyy shitt-- i relied on my handy dandy best friend Miss. SARAH NOELLE and here it is. I didnt want to begin posting and have you guys readin my shit on some ashy ass lay out. Ya diggy?! But now that its decent--- i can get on w. my show yo. =)
I'm not going to sit here & write a whole "ABOUT ME" section, but for some quick facts:
i am a Proud East New York Brooklynnite--currently resting my head in my 2nd home-- SouthSyde Jamaica Queens (Nucca you herd me?! 50 voice)--
I tend to curse alot &
I'm trying to cut down on the 'N' word.
But it is what it is...
Why name my blog WORD?
Well-- because for one, its the most used phrase in my vocab, and 2-- WORD dates back to b4 i was born. Being used as a Statement, Question, Description of something, Reaction, or simply said when theres NO reaction at all.
WORD?
WORD.
SAY WORD?!
lol.
You get my drift.
As we get deeper into my world (this bloq), you'll learn more and more about me. Through my words, which i use to communicate w. the outsiders that are, of cousre, not inside of me (Pause).
Just the way i THINK is retarded-- and my ideas for this bloq are SICK.
Whether you enjoy it or not though--- this shall be some real, raw, hilarious, any and everything you can think of shit.
These are words coming from a full time English Communications, 19 year old, Brooklyn born, Hispanic Black girl.
Subject to change-- cuz everyday i learn something new about myself.
I mean, like-- who really stays the same anyway?
The Kee Kee has began.
Let me rock yo.
Word!
=Milli Millz=
- Allow me to introduce to myself.
Name is Jamila; mostly known as J-Millz;Millie;Millzy;Jay-Pay-$0;High Yellow; or as seen in the title-Milli Millz. I'n not into this whole INTRODUCTORY paragraph thing-- it brings me back to High school w. all the topic sentences & shit like that.
I've been waiting a while to begin this bloq of mine, but since im not that great at makin the banners and all that flyy shitt-- i relied on my handy dandy best friend Miss. SARAH NOELLE and here it is. I didnt want to begin posting and have you guys readin my shit on some ashy ass lay out. Ya diggy?! But now that its decent--- i can get on w. my show yo. =)
I'm not going to sit here & write a whole "ABOUT ME" section, but for some quick facts:
i am a Proud East New York Brooklynnite--currently resting my head in my 2nd home-- SouthSyde Jamaica Queens (Nucca you herd me?! 50 voice)--
I tend to curse alot &
I'm trying to cut down on the 'N' word.
But it is what it is...
Why name my blog WORD?
Well-- because for one, its the most used phrase in my vocab, and 2-- WORD dates back to b4 i was born. Being used as a Statement, Question, Description of something, Reaction, or simply said when theres NO reaction at all.
WORD?
WORD.
SAY WORD?!
lol.
You get my drift.
As we get deeper into my world (this bloq), you'll learn more and more about me. Through my words, which i use to communicate w. the outsiders that are, of cousre, not inside of me (Pause).
Just the way i THINK is retarded-- and my ideas for this bloq are SICK.
Whether you enjoy it or not though--- this shall be some real, raw, hilarious, any and everything you can think of shit.
These are words coming from a full time English Communications, 19 year old, Brooklyn born, Hispanic Black girl.
Subject to change-- cuz everyday i learn something new about myself.
I mean, like-- who really stays the same anyway?
The Kee Kee has began.
Let me rock yo.
Word!
=Milli Millz=
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